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Confessions of a Taxi Driver

Its  been a real long time I haven’t been able to give some extra time to my blogging talent. The creative bugger inside me restrained to write the same vehicle and travel stories time and again. It says enough of the local trains, Autowallahs and high time I try to give some entertaining stuff to my beloved readers.

Funny, but all these thoughts poured in while I was travelling for yet another business trip, this time in my regular Pre-paid Taxi.  I was to catch a flight for my second home ( Chennai). Yes, it’s a second home as my work office is based there and it’s the place that I travel most only second to my in-laws house :p  Just kidding.

Alright, so amidst all this thinking, I was getting interrupted and invaded by a great Character Santosh Tiwari, who is supposed to be my regular taxi driver on every trip. Ladies and Gentleman, its my pleasure to share with you some good, bad and ugly stories of my new found character. I have been able to gather or lets say still gathering these entertaining, confused or lets say twisted life of Santosh only due to my frequent travelling. Thanks to Mumbai traffic that each of my trip gives me roughly around 4 hours ( to and fro) with this crazy yet simple man who was all the time narrating his activities in life whether Iam interested or not  ;) Courtesy to Santosh that I have almost travelled in every type of a Radio Taxi in Mumbai as like every other Radio taxi driver, he has managed to promote him more than the Radio Taxi he drives in. For travelers like us, just like Hotels where we stay, we get used to with taxi drivers if we travel more than a couple of times. For me, I feel very secured and safe to travel with a known driver than a real stranger every time as I travel so often and many a times unknowingly, we expose ourselves to them. There are times when I need to travel mid-night or sometimes really early up in the morning which is why I chose to have a regular taxi driver for myself.

 Santosh is a nice talkative, emotional, punctual, honest, dedicated man of around 35 years of age. Average physique and looks that qualify him as a typical Bihari Babu however his command on Marathi language cuts him above the rest of his breed. Specially imported from Bihar roughly 20 years ago, he can speak very good Marathi which can shy the proud Marathi manoos. He started driving Auto in the initial years and has had a troubled life like many others who come to Mumbai to make a living. Has two dependants in his family, a dedicated wife and an ailing son roughly around 9 years of age. Just like any other driver, he has to ensure he pays daily a specific amount to his employer ( Some Radio Taxi agency) and earn himself the balance which is handful to make both ends meet.

So far so good but there is a flip side for his personality and it is this side which tempted me to write about him. Santosh is a family man but is managing two families at a time which makes it a gharwali – baharwali episode. Cant say a story as I get his developments in bits and pieces like a typical TV soap as and when I catch up with him during my travels :D :p  Due to time constraint, I will break up my blog into small episodes which will make you eagerly wait for more to come.

Stay tuned to read on how Santosh  started his innings as a caretaker for the second family ;) Whats the story of his ailing son? 

Spirit of Mumbai : Auto Rickshaws!!

Auto -wallah - A True Character !!

As a salesman, the traveller in me, likes every kind of travel, be it air, trains, car, bus or for that matter even an Auto rickshaw seems to be the best option.

If you are planning to catch a flight and are in Mumbai, the best option whether you like it or not, is an Auto especially when in the evening peak hours ( anytime between 5.00pm to 10pm). Ofcourse, if you stay at the outskirts, it is common sense to come by a local train to the nearest station on the Central line like Kurla or Ghatkopar and take an Auto to reach the Airport. Anyways, don’t want to sound like a travel guide here :p

Auto Rickshaw, are cool means of travel in Mumbai when you need to travel faster. YES, faster in the peak traffic hours. Even if you have the most luxurious, most expensive car or taxi in Mumbai, be sure, you cannot win the race with our Auto-wallahs ;)

I wonder who invented the name Rickshaw for these three- wheelers. Probably, Shaw – Wallace, the liquor manufacturers from India named it after one of their kids Rick Shaw :P ..... Just kidding

Don’t go with their size and shapes, they can be the best fit for travelers like us when you are in real need to reach your destination faster than the destined Mumbai traffic time.

I have always found it entertaining to travel in these Auto Rick – Shaws as they inspire you when you are really down and depress you when you are really on a high ;)  Here the pronoun “they” stands for our great character “ Auto wallah”. Enter an auto rick shaw and you will find at your service, the stylish, the sluggish, the Spy, the ugly, the smart, the rude and please put some more nice adjectives as complimentory offer from me,  to our super character “Autowallah”

Amchi Mumbai is changing and so are our mama – kaka Autowalla  who have been replaced by “ Bhai saab” and “Bhaiyyas” thanks to the convenience of Trains from Bihar, UP and West Bengal. The Marathi manoos, our kaka – mama’s, do have a demand but more for the local politicians who mention them quite often in their inspiring speeches.  Nevertheless, Mumbai is still the safest city for Rickshaw travel inspite of these cosmopolitan character Autowallahs.

I feel proud to hear many times, when I travel to Delhi, Bangalore, Chennai or other cities, I always get a mention that Mumbai is the safest of all with regards to Auto Rickshaws. Yes, our Autowallahs are having a great reputation J

Coming back to the introduction, our Autowallahs come in different characters, full of life. 

Character 1 :  You hire an auto, travel without a single word – pay the rent – over :D   We call these autowallah as the selective of the lot ;) These kind of drivers are choosy. They will choose the right people to talk to and will always respect the frame of your mind.

Character 2 : You hire an auto, travel . You start a conversation for 5 minutes and end up the next 10 minutes saying “ Hmmm”, “ correct”, “Yes” and “ No”. You try hard to stop and ignore, but they will make sure you listen :D  we call them Time Bomb. You speak and trigger them, they will ensure they make good noise :p

Character 3 : You hire an Auto, travel . This Autowallah will interview and scan you on your job, your family, your general knowledge,your purpose in life and probably things which you never knew about yourself. He will continue this till you get out of the auto. He might also give you some good tips on the way. Be sure you engage in this conversation since most of the time, he will keep checking you from the mirror. Better listen to him and avoid an accident. We call them “ The Reporters” as you gain some extra knowledge that specific day :D

Character 4 : Iam sure I don’t need to introduce this guy as most of you might have tried these types. You hire him as you need to reach somewhere on time. Be sure, either he messes up the way or drives like a zombie. You keep yelling at him, but he don’t care. As if someone has given him a contract to make you late, he will keep his word. There are also sequel to such characters. They go in the next stage. You keep yelling and they show you how they can beat even a Michael Schumacher ;) We can only pray that we reach our destination in one piece ;) We call these type as “Zombies”

Character 5 :   They are music lovers. So much so that as soon as you enter they will start their Car stereo ( sorry but Akai or Takara haven’t yet innovated any Rickshaw stereo L ) Whether you follow the song ( as you might actually not be from Mumbai) , like the music, you have to hear it. On top, our character will ensure you hear his voice in chorus along with the lead singers ;) But most of the time, these autowallahs are disoriented. Be sure, you will be dropped either 1km ahead or before of your final destination … 

Iam sure there are many different characters and colours to these autowallahs and as a Mumbaikar, you can add maybe another 10 different types ;) 

But just like the local trains, life would have been so difficult without our Autowallahs, isn’t it? 

What say Mumbaikar??

Spirit of Mumbai : Local Trains!!

Typical day for a Mumbai Salesman 

It was a usual day for me like any other Mumbaikar. I had a meeting scheduled at 11am with a customer in Lower Parel. Staying in the outskirts of Mumbai might have an advantage on cost of living however if you want to reach the main city, you have to commute only by the Local Trains – a lifeline for every Mumbaikar. Specifically for a professional salesman like me, it can never be avoided.

If you have to travel by train, especially towards Mumbai during the peak time ( office hours), you need to ensure you have to have a cushion of minimum 2hours and today I made sure I am at the station by 9am. Its always a wonderful feeling to have a luxury of travelling I class, thanks to the profession and my company  as Iam entitled for it ;)  One big advantage to commute on I class ticket is that traveler, when he has to buy the ticket,  gets a special priority ( more like a frequent flier if you consider Air travel ), Ofcourse you spend 11 times more for a I class as compared to II class travel fares. I managed a ticket from the ticket window irritating and bypassing many other II class passengers,  who seem to be spending half of their lives standing in Queues on such ticket windows L  As expected  an old man on the II class queue  tried to stop by pointing me on the long queue however his expressions changed to frustration after I declared my class of travel. I feel bad but sometimes you cant help as it doesn’t make sense to stand in a long IInd class queue to get a I class ticket.

Fresh morning with a fresh energy, I decided to go by a fast train as it can save atleast half an hour. I had anticipated the crowd specially at the peak timings which I planned today but confidence shatters when you see human beings as honey bees  trying to get inside the comb L It was a typical day for any Mumbaikar but for me, especially after spending 3 years in Chennai, I have lost my agility especially when I need to catch a train.

A good thing about the Mumbai local trains is that every 5 minutes, during the peak hours, there is a train and just in case you miss one, you always have the next. I was sure that I can atleast board the train somehow as I had a I class ticket and you have special I class compartments for executives like us J

The train arrival was announced and it was suppose to come in any moment. I was waiting like every other fellow passenger at the red and green stripe area that indicates the I class coach. If you want to see unity in diversity, you should stand in any of these stations in Mumbai. I looked around and found a lot of people in these crowds are like teams. Most of them work either at one place, or one town or have been travelling since ages with each other on the same train at the same time scheduled. One thing you can learn from these commuters is there is no hierarchy in these teams. Ofcourse, in terms of noise making or singing or eating Gutkhas, they have self - proclaimed leaders.  You can hear different languages standing just at one place – be it Bengali, Tamil, Malayalam, Hindi, Bihari, Marathi . And for the record, each one of them is a Mumbaikar here J :p

Train arrived. I managed to go forward two steps and had to back off as I couldn’t manage even to reach near the door. A disadvantage of I class travel is that in these local trains, the I class compartments are very less.  A single coach can take around 72 passengers inside these local train but as if Mumbaikars have to teach a lesson to Jessop ( the Kolkata Coach manufacturer),  a typical peak hour train carries around  300 passengers in just one coach. ( A train unfortunately has only 9 or 12 coaches) . And if you thought this is a bit too much, there are more ambitious traveler who prefer the roof more than entering inside the coaches J These are the kids with young blood  who frequent roof top policy. They are a treat to watch for onlookers and each of these commuters think themselves as some superstar ;)

 After spending ( should I write wasting) 15 minutes and making three sincere attempts to board the train, I decided to change the platform and opt for a slow local as I was now desperate to start. I took the overbridge on the station and tried my luck with two slow local trains ( Slow local train have good frequencies with regards to availability but are around 20 minutes slower). The I class compartments here were more crowded than the fast ones. Finally, the third train which I was about to miss somehow worked on me and I decided to try the II class compartment. I ran to the nearest coach and to my surprise, I could manage to keep my foot inside the train this time.

One more thing to know about Mumbai trains is that once you keep a foot overboard, you need not worry if you can get inside, because there are other passengers who, like you, want to board the train. They make sure , you get the right throttle behind you J 

I was in. J

My three years in Chennai made me out of date for the train travel as I failed to see commuters having their sacks do not take it on their backs. New rules declared by your fellow passengers dictates that it should be taken on the front. I could barely move my hand inside as I was surrounded by almost 50 people In every angle we have learnt in trigonometry. My axe deodorant axed me as I was getting different scents from every side. Should I say scent or odour? I don’t know how you will name a mixture of this two together. On top, with every passing station, the crowd was just increasing.  I can now understand a feeling of clay when it is pressed inside a mould. One good thing about travelling in winter time is that you don’t need to really wear a woolen clothing here, specially, when you are travelling in peak hours. The warmth that you get will shy a good heating device ;)

I had roughly  thirty more minutes to go amidst all these funny, crazy, dizzy smells and free thai massage. I wonder if the state government here has some tie ups with Thai companies running massage parlours . Iam sure they might have learnt some good tricks in these Mumbai local trains. If you have a body ache, be sure, you will get cured if you travel in such nice trains. And if you don’t have, be sure, you get one free as a compliment for the travel ;)

Standing helplessly between 8 shoulders, you have no option but to listen to some good gossips happening around. I could hear an old man chatting to some fellow companions on how much he was drunk on the 31^st night and how he spent on his friends. I could hear two people fighting somewhere inside the compartment on seats. Seems one of the fellow standing next to a commuter, who had managed a seat for himself, stamped on his feets. Both were cursing each other alternately. I could hear some bhajans being sung and my neighbor with his 10kgs of castor oil-filled head was engrossed in sync with these bhajans. I somehow managed myself to avoid free oil massage on my right cheek. I managed to use my elbow to set him right without really offending him. I don’t remember if had any better use of my elbow before this.

One of my co-passenger who seem to be quite happy and peaceful earlier exposed himself as soon as his Mobile phone with the latest “Chikni Chameli” buzzed with high decibels. He was mid 30s and seem to be working for a good company as an executive. Ofcourse, I didn’t make these impressions in the critical position I was in at that moment, but I had seen him on the platform where he waited like me. He tried hard to be soft on the call he was attending. Without any guesses, it was his better half on the other side of the line. The problem here in trains is that even if you don’t want, you have to hear conversations. Poor fellow tried hard to keep his voice low but the fight which started when he was leaving home had to continue and seems it was this time.  The soft voice was soon distressed voice and later a bit aggressive. In the next ten minutes, the crowd that surrounded me was more silent than the other noises as our fellow here was giving free education to all the husbands on how you shouldn’t talk to your wife ;)

Fortunately, by 10.45, my train reached Dadar station and like a joy slide, or the descent from the mountain, to get off a train is simple, when you have so much of crowd at your service. Simply follow the flow and you are outside on the station.

After an entertaining travel of 1 and half hours, with complimetory Thai massage, my clothes were crumpled L and disoriented. I wonder next time if  my clothes get ironed if I use a crumpled one ;)

Finally, I was ready to meet my first client for the day.  A typical day for many I class passengers like me who buy a ticket of I class but end up boarding a II class compartment. At times, I have also tried the luggage compartment which is even more comfortable than the II class with regards to crowd these days in Mumbai L

Where are we heading my dear Mumbaikar?